This is pretty funny!

I got this from another forum, ephatch.com, and this guy's story is funny!

Well the day started out like hell.....the wife had cramps and her head would spin and she would spit pea soup if I said boo ....Soooo I had to get out of the house, there was no question.....so I decided to go bear hunting with the ep....step one was to wax the front of the car so the blood would not stick,I learned that after years hunting dogs and cats around the hood. Step 2 was to dig out my 9 1/2 inch Cold Steel bowie knife for the skinning....man rule:Never bring a knife that is longer than your dick when hunting!....So I was not able to brake out the 12 incher....because there is nothing in the world that in 12 inchs long and white ..... Step 3 was to decide where to go......well there is a park just over the border called Bear Mountian state park.....sounds like there are bears up there.....so I gassed up the ep and hit the road.......
Started on the Palisadies Parkway north and I ran into a R32 while jiging through traffic....the r32 decided to show me why he paid 13 grand more for his ride than the out the door price for a ep...Well he did have 1200cc's but that was not a lot of help when I was doing 70 in 4th gear...He missed a couple openings and he dropped away in the rear view......Look out bears! here comes the ep.....
Well the ep hit the traffic circle at the bear mountian bridge but we did not go across....we went up rt987n tward the summit...that is were the bears must be hiding....Rt987 is a pisser of a road....It is cuts along the side of bear mountian with a speed limit of about 25....the ep don't do 25 so we were pushing 50mph when we hit a suv rolling road block....we dropped a couple gears and did a double yellow flyby.....we came up to Perkins summit road and hooked a right to the top....Perkins drive is a well paved old jeep road....there is not 10 feet of strait on the whole thing and at 45-65mph with rocks on the right and a 200ft cliffs to the left you better have your shit togather.....The hikers were not really happy with the high mph flyby....But f them....well we got to the top and there was a great view but still no bears... Well I looked down to the right of the top and there was another road going down so the ep and I took that...the road was not as new but it still was a heck of a lot of fun....The road ended circle and there were a pair of fat people having sex on a rock, but still no bears.....I thught of skinning the big fat guy, I mean he was hairy and all buy it wouldn't be the same.... so the search continued.....We decided to head down to bear mt bridge.....For all of you that think the ep's braking system Ok have never pushed the car down mountian on a twisting road....I got to bottom and stopped because there were no brakes left....Got out and the front were glowing red!!!
Well after the brakes were no longer a fire hazard we headed across bear mt bridge...$1 toll and onto rt 6 south....another mind blowing road! It huggs the cliffs along the hutson for about 5 miles...As I turn on it, 3 german super cars blew by!!! there was ZM3 bmw,a M5 bmw and a s4 audie.....Well there was no way I was not going to try to keep up with these guys!!!...Since the road is down hill in the south bound direction I was holding them if for no other reason than my brakes were approching temps that would look norman on the serface of the sun
....Well we got to the bottom and there is a traffic circle these guys did a loop and headed back up.....Big suprise....I tryed keep up but they left me like the overweight civic that I am........And there still were no bears...
Well the ep and I decided to head home for the day.....Time for some biger brakes and some more hp.....

bears......1
ep.........0.....

 

strange story, lol

 

i don't know what to say about this dude...even if he did find a bear, his car woulda lost anyway...shoot, he's just lucky his brakes didn't give out going on the downhill. he sounds like a pretty strange guy

 

Sounds Like~ A NooB

Sounds Like Hes Using the Bears to Distract us from his Poor Touge Skills~

~ When Going Down Hill you should Down Shift to Lower Gear and let your Engine Slow you Down, While using your brake to keep from Redlining~ this will Save your Foot Brakes for Emergencies cause E-Brake will not Save your Ass ~that Handle will Only Make Matters Worse~:spitdrink: I Love Touge in My EH2 being Its a FF I had to Play It Safe and Gripp the Road~

Now In My S13 I go Balls Out and Attack the Apex~ hsnap:

Due to My Current KA24 Motor I can only Drift Down Hill...

 

don't feel bad Clutch, when you get a more powerful setup in there, that'll change bro...at least you can drift the dwonhill, beats me "drifting" my ferio around town during the winter...but both are equally fun as long as it's a controlled slide...and whenever you think your engine is slow and underpowered, just think about my sohc non-vtec Y7 and you should feel a little better. lol

 

man, i cant believe i read every word of that